What to do...What to do...

I'm kinda mad at myself. I'm always wondering why I'm so different from other kids. Why I can't focus while doing school in my room rather than out in the living room. My parents are going to be really strict next year, and I won't have any breathing room. I even had this vauge idea that I should leave my home and live like a hermit. But I wouldn't do that, I don't want to break my mother's heart. So it'll end up a story idea that'll probably die. I seriously want to push myself so that I can be done my math before the I possibly leave for Ontario with my grandmother. I can't wait to be able to just let my worries fade away for just a bit. I haven't bee able to do that for so long... I worry about a lot...

I wish I wouldn't have to worry, really. I wish I wasn't so disorganized. If Mom hadn't pulled me out of just plain home schooling, I'd probably be done school by now. But Mom put me in on-line school 'cause she thought I "wasn't doing enough school", but I was. I was doing a lot and I was finished before lunch. I could get school done without having to worry about not knowing what I was doing. But as soon as I started on-line school, I was lost. I didn't know how to do half the things the teachers wanted me to do. And I had to do so many essays. Every week there was an essay in English, and they were about hard things. But that may be average in public schools. But then it was PE. PE is about loging how much exercize you've done. But the English teacher was also the PE teacher. So there were essays and projects in THAT class too. It was pure agony.

Now, I'm just writing this post before I go back to doing math. WHAT TO DO! I'm so frusterated at graphing lines! I've been doing it for so long that the information I'm trying to learn is just bouncing off my forehead now.

I'm sad now...

Maybe writing will help me.

I hope I'm in a better mood the next time I post...